Purpose

I just returned from a walk with my weiner dog, and as I was looking at the houses in my neighborhood, I was wondering: what is it that I want to do with my life? Do I want to go to work everyday, return home, and just live everyday in the same old rut, week after week? Life is good, but is this the life I want to live everyday? Honestly, no! I want to live for the Lord, living a life full of adventure. Even if that means stepping out of my comfort zone and giving up my cushy life here, so be it. I just don't want to stay in this rut!

This summer, I want to go back to Haiti and bring hope to those people who don't have it. Some do; however, Satan's reach on that area is so strong that even believers in Haiti face a huge spiritual battle. I need to reach out to my community here and to my family and show them the mercy of God. I need to be real and learn to be selfless. I need to get out of this house!

Desires

So, I was at work, sitting in a meeting today about HR benefits. The HR Manager was talking about his 7-week-old son. I told him congratulations and he showed me a picture. So cute! And so bad because it reminds me of how much I want a little one...

Oh, do I want a baby! The desire of my heart is to have a little one of my own to love and raise to love God. I have been off the pill since mid-August. It's the best thing since sliced bread...being a "real woman," free of the confines of chemical hormones. It has been great for me. It has just been hard waiting to get pregnant. Its only been 2.5 months, I must remind myelf!

Here's the thing though! I know God is in control! I need to trust Him with any little nerdlings that Mike and I produce. If it is His will for us, I know that it will be in His perfect timing. Absolutely beautiful and perfect! So, I must cast this desire on Him and focus on what He has given me... I have an AMAZING husband, an awesome church, a cute house, a good job, great family, and the cutest little wiener dog. I need to focus on being the best at my job that I can, enjoy teaching the 2-year-olds, and get my application in to the NWA Children's Shelter. I have a lot of things to do right now!

And of course, I want to work on my relationship with God. I want to understand His word better. I have a lot of questions about God and the Bible and life in general that I can ponder and learn about.

So, I guess to say it all, a baby is something I need not worry about. I want one so badly at times, but God has the best plan in mind. The absolute best plan in mind for us. And it will bring Him glory along the way (not to be forgotten)!

The Blog Rebel

So, Mike started a blog. And to rebel, I am starting my own! I have been thinking a lot about who I am and what I believe. I think this would be a great place to get the sorting of my thoughts out.

I have been on a journed to explore who I am, and maybe this blog will help me out...